CONFESSIONAL
by ChainsawLollipop
Summary: What really happened to Karen and Dave? Carol's confession


CONFESSIONAL

BY APRIL CATHLEEN CORNELIUS

I didn't do it.

I told Rick I did it when he asked me. Looked him right in the eye when he asked me. It was after I ran out past the fence to unclog the irrigation system. I ran out there in the open. I knew there were walkers everywhere but we needed the water. Rick wanted to wait .

Wait with an infirmary full of flu patients. Screw that it needed done so I did it. Yeah I did it without cover and with no thought to my I wanted to do was unclog the hose and get back in. I could handle it. I've gotten good with a knife and I can run. But Rick had to make a big thing of it. I heard him yelling "Carol Run!" but I needed to finish it.

Then I killed the walkers that got in too close. I got back inside.

Problem solved.

Rick was waiting. I knew he was going to make an issue of it. He asked me if there was anything I wouldn't do for the people here. I said "no" because I'm honest. The people here are my family. Were my family. Then he asked me the question I knew was coming, just like I knew what my answer would be:

"_Carol, did you kill Karen and Dave?"_

I looked at him, nodded and said yes. He turned and walked back in the prison. Guess he was deciding what to do with me.

I had a pretty good idea what was coming next. When he asked me to go on a run with him the next day I wasn't shocked. I knew. He could have taken Maggie. He could have taken Daryl.

Daryl. He was my best friend here really. Lately since he had abandoned the hunt for the Governor, he'd spent a lot of time watching Beth. And I knew she liked him. Knew it since a conversation her and I had back when Daryl had left with Merle, seen the way she looked when she talked about him.

It was ok. We were friends, good friends. Everyone thought there was something more, that we were screwing around. Never happened. You'd probably be surprised to know I never thought that way about him, not even once. He was my friend, nothing more. I guess it doesn't matter now; haven't seen him for a long time.

I wonder if Rick ever told him what I did. I wonder if he believes I'm guilty. No Daryl wouldn't believe it. He would know right away why I did what I did. He's probably the only one. The others would believe Rick when he told them I did it.

I don't blame Rick. He's a decent man. He tried to do right by us, our group. But he keeps holding on to the old world. Before the turn. That world is gone. And the people we used to be, well they're gone too.

Before the turn, I was a scared mouse of a women beaten and raped by my piece of shit husband, watching my little girl being abused, unable to do anything to stop it. It would still be going on if the old world existed, if Ed Peletier hadn't been killed.

Things were going well at the prison when the flu hit. It had almost nine months since the Governor started a war with us. We thought we won. We drove him off, he was gone. The trail was cold. We made a life here, bringing in survivors if they could answers Rick's questions.

After the war, Rick and Carl stopped leading; He decided he was going to retreat into being a farmer as if that was going to fix anything. It wasn't going to turn Carl back into a child again, the child he had been before the Turn.

But it was good until the flu hit. I was teaching storytime but what I was really teaching the kids was survival. Rick wasn't leading but he wouldn't approve.

It needed to be done. If my Sophia had known how to take care of herself, if she had been carrying a weapon maybe..

Anyhow it started suddenly. Patrick wasn't feeling well one night. He went to bed and died and got up. So many were bitten. I was near one of the ones brought in. I recognized him. He brought his daughters to story time. He had been bitten on the arm. I was going to amputate but he another bite high on the shoulder. There was nothing to be done but put him down. Before I did though he asked me to look after his daughters. Of course I agreed. I knew Lizzie and Mika . The girls had no one so I agreed. They were close to Sophia's age.

Lizzie wanted to be the one to put her father down. In the end she couldn't do it. I had to do it. You couldn't hesitate; people turn at different when they die. Some go in minutes others, not for hours. Maybe what happened was my fault after all I don't know.

I told Lizzie she would have to be strong if she was going to survive. I taught the girls things while they were with me . Taught them how to shoot, how to use knives. How to survive.

The things I wish I could have taught Sophia but I didn't get to.

We were trapped on the highway when I lost Sophia. We were scavenging from the cars when a herd came through.

We hid under the cars but my Sophia, panicked and ran a walker chasing her. And like the weak abused woman I was then I trusted Rick to get her for me. He said he would get her.

He didn't. He had to put her down to draw walkers off of her. She was supposed to run back to the road but we never saw her again until she came out of Herschel's barn. Daryl risked his life for her, going out to track her every day. Nearly getting killed himself for her. I owed him a lot for that.

He saved my life three times. When Shane killed the walkers in the barn and my Sophia came walking out, not my baby anymore but a snarling rotting thing I ran to her. He stopped me. And the night we lost the farm to the herd, I escaped with him on the back of Merle's bike.

The last time was when one of the prison's inmates had turned on the generators and opened the gates letting in the walkers. Rick had let him live even after he tried to kill him. T-dog had been bitten I tried to help, running after him. Of course I couldn't. I got trapped in a dark closet. Daryl found me.

I remember how I felt when he opened the door. It was like a dream. The door opened and there he was, checking to make sure I was really alive and not turned . He carried me back to our cellblock. I learned of the baby's birth and Lori's death.

Just another of the things that happened because Rick failed to act.

After Patrick turned we found two more people with the flu. Karen and Dave. You could see neither one was doing well, struggling to breathe. Dying horribly. They were put in quarantine.

Tyreese was the one who found them in the yard, bodies burning, demanding justice for his girlfriend Karen. Demanding the killer be found and brought to him so he could dispense "justice" I knew what that meant and knew I couldn't let it happen. Not to her.

She is just a little girl. I tried to teach her to be strong. I thought if she was strong, stronger than my Sophia I could keep her alive.

It had been a mistake.

It was Lizzie She had snuck in to quarantine /. I found her standing over the bodies, the knife I gave her in her hand. "They were going to die like my daddy," she looked up at me and said.

There wasn't any time to think. I couldn't let them blame this child. I dragged the bodies out, poured the gasoline and set the fire. Half hoping it would stop the flu from spreading . "Don't say anything I'll handle it," I told her. I knew what Rick's reaction would be.

I knew he was either going to try to kill me or banish me when I went on that run with him. I couldn't even say goodbye to Daryl; he had gone on that run to veterinary college for medicine for the flu patients. He wouldn't let me take my girls. I suppose he was right but I thought things might be better off if they weren't there.

Rick was hung up on the fact that I wouldn't say her name. Sophia's. In reality most nights I woke up crying and saying her name. That I wasn't "sorry" would it really have made a difference? Would they be any less dead if I had said I was sorry? I'd had quite enough of Rick and his self righteous attitude. All of us are trying to survive.

I wanted to take them because Mika isn't safe with Lizzie. Lizzie is sick. Rick won't do what needs to be done. He's too decent, too nice to put down a living child.

I didn't go far. I kept an eye on the prison, on Lizzie and Mika.. I know it was Lizzie who was killing the rats in the basement. So I saw the attack by the Governor and the prison that had been our home turn into a graveyard.

My girls escaped with Tyreese and the baby. I followed them up until yesterday. I'm not the tracker that Daryl is. I somehow lost them in the woods. I have to find them and finish it. Before she hurts anyone else.


End file.
